Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
