you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
