just tell him i said nine months
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
