I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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