the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
