what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
