I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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