When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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