MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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