I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
