I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I love having hate sex.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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