I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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