She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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