Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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