I CAN MOONWALK!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
