11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
