You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
