Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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