margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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