toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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