angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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