She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
