I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
