I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
