Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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