Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
