Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
