Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
