At least make sure they are 18
Why
This girl is more easily done than said...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
