hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
