My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
