well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
