Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
