their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
