so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
