i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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