I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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