he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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