There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't deserve a penis
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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