oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
