the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
