Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
