so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
