my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
