no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
