honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
