I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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