I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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