I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
