I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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