shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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