paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
